Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
