yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
