Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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