he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
