hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
