you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
