The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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