i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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