Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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