Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
