You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
