Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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