She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
