Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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