We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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