I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
