You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
