I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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