um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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