have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize