doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
