I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
