I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
