I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
