Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
smell my finger.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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