You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
