I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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