Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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