Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
