Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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