I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
last night I used snow as a chaser
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
