You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
