What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
