Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
