Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize