I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
