What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
