one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
