The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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