All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We don't watch enough power rangers
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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