guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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