Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize