Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
