I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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