Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
