a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
