in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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