So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
