I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
