Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
