My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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