Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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