..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
