we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
