I'm eating all of the evidence.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
40s are totally the cure
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
