when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and she was petting her beer can
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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