u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
