sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
