Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
