I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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