Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
