When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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