found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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