a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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