You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
