so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
