Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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