hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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