next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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