MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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