why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I pour the whiskey from now on
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
