I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
