i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
