Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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